The best resource for Prank Calls
Prank Call Numbers - Call these now and wind up your friends, family and anyone who deserves it!!
Every one loves to windup their mates and this is your perfect opportunity to wind up your mates and anyone else who deserves it. Check out the hilarious wind ups on the right and pick your favourite. There are some great prank call scenarios for you to choose from.
Follow the instructions on the page and you can wind up your mates to your hearts content. The prank is activated by pressing the # once your victim answers the call. You can listen in on these amazingly funny wind ups and enjoy listening to your mates squirm.
Call 0906 664 6892 To Get Going
On some pranks you can initiate walkie talkie syle conversation with your mates to prolong the prank.
Try out our prank call services on your mate now!
Call 0906 664 6892 to Start
The UK has spawned so many quality prank calls that it is impossible to list them all. Radio 1 DJ Scot Mills has been at the forefront in recent years producing many funny windups and funny prank calls. Just google the term scot mills pranks and you'll see what we mean!
This site lists the best in prank calls and also provides numbers for you to windup your friends with your very own prank call (see the list on the right). We'll try to list other sites and any other resources that you would love.
Latest Funny Jokes
Joke of the Day : Joke Diary
Joke of the Day For Everybody
Thanks A Lot
13 May 2012 at 2:32pm
I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your stinking chain letters over the past years. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern……..
I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains and it eats the paint off of cars.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put “Under God” on their cans.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I no longer use cancer causing deodorants even though I smell like a wet dog on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaida in disguise.
I no longer eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer have any sneakers — but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer use my cell phone because I could spontaneously combust at a gas station while refueling my car.
Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me! I will now return the favor.
If you DON’T send this e-mail to at least 5,000 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird will poop on your head at 5:00 PM tomorrow afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend of a…etc…
(Editor’s Note: This last statement is sarcasm — not to be taken seriously. In other words, please don’t send an e-mail to 5,000 people and claim JokeDiary.com told you to do it….Thanks!)
Good and Ideal Man
9 May 2012 at 4:48pm
While creating men, God Promised women that a good and ideal man would be found in all corners of the world. then He made the earth round.
Airline Humor
6 May 2012 at 3:09pm
- “Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money more than Southwest Airlines.”
- “Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. In the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments.”
- “As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”
- “Last one off the plane must clean it.”
- From the pilot during his welcome message: “We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately none of them are on this flight.”
- This was overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach, the captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the flight attendant came on the PA and announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate!”
- Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”
- An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a, “Thanks for flying XYZ airline.” He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, “Sonny, did we land or were we shot down?”
- After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the flight attendant got on the PA and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we’ll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.”
- Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of us here at US Airways.”
Golfing on Sunday
6 May 2012 at 3:07pm
The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and, realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day.
As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn’t accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!
At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, “You’re not going to let him get away with this, are you?”
The Lord sighed, and said, “No, I guess not.”
Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!
St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, “Why did you let him do that?”
The Lord smiled and replied, “Who’s he going to tell?”
Dog and Cat
6 May 2012 at 3:01pm
What is a Cat?
Cats do what they want. They rarely listen to you. They’re totally unpredictable. When you want to play, they want to be alone. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They expect you to cater to their every whim. They’re moody. They leave hair everywhere.
Conclusion: They’re tiny women in little fur coats.
What is a Dog?
Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don’t hear you when you’re in the next room. They can look dumb and lovable at the same time. They growl when they are not happy. When you want to play, they want to play. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They leave their toys everywhere. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
Conclusion: They’re tiny men in little fur coats.
Do You Know Your Judgment Day?
6 May 2012 at 2:59pm
Fellow 1 : “Now my grandfather, he knew the exact day of the year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he was right about that, too.”
Fellow 2 : “Wow, that’s Incredible. How did he know all of that?”
Fellow 1 : “A judge told him.”
Ransom
6 May 2012 at 2:51pm
A Yuppie was sent a ransom note saying that he was to bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of the country club at 10 o’clock the next day if he ever wanted to see his wife alive again.
He didn’t arrive until almost 12:30. A masked man stepped out from behind some bushes and growled, “What the hell took ya so long ? You’re over two hours late.”
“Hey ! Give me a break.” whined the Yuppie. “I have a 27 handicap.”
Golf Meditations
6 May 2012 at 2:48pm
If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.
A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents luck.
Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
You can put “draw” on the ball, you can put “fade” on the ball, but no golfer can put “straight” on the ball.
Don’t buy a putter until you’ve had a chance to throw it.
Things your Mother would NEVER say?
6 May 2012 at 2:44pm
– Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too.
– Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day.
– That outfit isn’t sexy enough, here, unbutton your blouse.
– Why don’t you hitchhike? It would totally be cheaper.
– The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not like I’m running a prison around here.
– Don’t clean your room so often. It makes the rest of the house look bad.
– Can I borrow your new speed metal CDs?
– Naw, you don’t have to call me, I’ll eventually figure it out if you’re in trouble.
More One-liners?
6 May 2012 at 2:42pm
Middle age is when you are warned to slow down by a doctor instead of a policeman.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
An escalator never breaks . . . it only becomes stairs
When you get older, lack of pep is often mistaken for patience.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
What will today’s younger generation tell their children they had to do “without”?
If you’re doing the speed limit, you’re in the way.
18 out of 10 schizophrenics agree
It’s not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
Bumper Sticker: Excuse me for driving so closely in front of you.
Today is the last day of your life, so far.
No man really becomes a fool until he stops asking questions.
People never grow up; they just learn how to act in public.
One half of the world will never understand the other half and it doesn’t matter which half you’re in.
I’ve discovered the whole problem with the National Debt. Most of us work 5 days a week and the government spends 7.
You’ll notice that a turtle only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.
No matter how bad it gets, I’m rich at the dollar store.
The tongue must be heavy indeed, because so few people can’t hold it.
The minute a man is convinced that he is interesting, he isn’t.
If you want to know more about paranoids, follow them around.
Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
The reason Las Vegas is so crowded is that no one has the plane fare to leave.